The Ballad Of Alferd Packer
In the state of Colorad
In the year of seventy-fou
They crossed the San Juan Mountain
Growing hungry to the core
Their guide was Alferd Packe
And they trusted him too long
For his character was wea
And his appetite was strong
They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief
It just doesn't pay to eat anything but Government-inspected beef
Along the Gunnison Rive
An Indian camp they spied
An Indian chief approached them
To stop them he did try
He warned them of the dange
In the snow that lay around
But the danger was in Packer
For his hunger knew now bound
They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief
It just doesn't pay to eat anything but Government-inspected beef
Two cold months went slowly by
Packer came back alone
"My comrades they all froze to death
I'm starving," he did moan
The Indian chief knew how he lied
He spat upon the ground
For Packer's belly hung out all over his belt
He'd gained some thirty pounds
They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief
It just doesn't pay to eat anything but Government-inspected beef
Well for nine long years he ran awa
But finally he was tried
He claimed he didn't kill them
He only ate their hide
That County had six dem-o-crat
Until that man arrived
Well only one lives on today
He ate the other five
They called him a murderer, a cannibal, a thief
It just doesn't pay to eat anything but Government-inspected beef
Eighteen years he stayed in jail
It was a dreadful fate
For he suffered indigestio
Every time he ate
Still, it's hard to blame this hungry gu
Who went searchin' for the mines
For when he ate his friend
He'd never heard of Duncan Hines.
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