800 Pound Jesus
I saw a garage sal
Pulled up in the yar
Found a statue of Jesu
It was eight feet tall
He held out his arm
And he seemed all alon
So I loaded him u
And drove him hom
Out by my driveway h
Looks down the stree
With his long hair and sandals mad
Of rebar and concret
I painted him white with a long purple rob
He's a rock of ages on our gravel roa
Choru
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesu
Standing taller than a tre
He's an eight-hundred pound Jesu
A bigger man than you or m
I thought loosin' my job was
The end of the worl
Till my best pal ran off with my best gir
I felt suicidal with no real friend
So I walked outside with a rope in my han
Out by that statue there's a big old tre
So I stood on his shoulder
And I counted to thre
I had every intention of buying the far
But when I jumped off he caught me in his arm
Choru
I wanted to return the favor to hi
Cause I never had a more solid frien
So I planted some flower
All around his fee
And I bought him a floc
Of ceramic shee
Choru
He's a bigger ma
Than you or me
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