Orlando
I was sitting naked in a holiday inn down in Orland
And it was the morning of the last day of the yea
I didn't know who I was and I thought I might've been Evan Dand
But if I was him than what the hell was I doing her
So I asked myself one simple questio
What would I do with the rest of my lif
If I knew I couldn't fail I guess I'd get the hel
Out of Orlando and find me a rich and beautiful wif
Cause I don't want to do a damn thin
And I want to be appreciate
And I want to get paid wel
And I don't want to be hate
I don't want to do a damn thing except lie in the su
And be loved loved loved loved loved by everyon
So I called up the front desk to see if I could rent a porn
They said you better have a credit card I said honey I'm pretty hard u
But I ain't got no visa I said honey could you please uh help m
She said she was sorry but I think she was just disguste
And I was kinda disgusted myself cause it had all come down to thi
And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonel
When you're sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybir
Down in Orlando in the middle of the nigh
So I called up an old friend to see how he was doin
But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely knew hi
So I said I had to go then I couldn't take it any longe
You know the desire to throw my naked body out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronge
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldn't get my nerve u
I just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hai
That was the worst idea that I had all da
But goddamn it gets lonely down in f.l.o.r.i.d.a
Then I thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybir
And just what the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doin
So I tried to write a song about it but this is all I go
You know I sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lo
Except the part about killing myself and the part about trying to find a rich wif
She said you should have gone to sea world you might have had a better tim
I said honey thanks for the input thanks for the advic
But I think that the only way I'm ever going back to Orlando is if I live life twic
Cause I don't want to do a damn thin
And I want to be appreciate
And I want to get paid wel
And I don't want to be hate
I don't want to do a damn thing except lie in the su
And be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone
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