If I Owned A Midget
life's got me mad, but if i had a midget i'd be gla
to watch him jump around on my nintendo power pa
he'd have a big head, short legs and long tors
the name that i'd give my pet midget is little gord
i'd teach him tricks like back flips and side kick
when company came over he'd preform and get tip
while im eatin' at nigh
in the kitchen he'd be abl
to get the food scraps that i threw under the tabl
if my midget was ever bad
and acted enrage
then i'd take him to the bathroom
and put him in his cag
but if he kept actin' up and really made me sic
i'd hang him upside down
and poke him with a stic
Little Gord
would be good, mosta the time thoug
he'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling "hiyo"
i'd take im for walks in the park on the weekend
and if he saw other midgets he'd say "can we be friends?"
he'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dea
and he be in the guinnus book for the worlds biggest hea
what a funny little fello
but dont call him a shrim
or he'll attack your leg
cuz gordo's a tough gimp
he'd have a pogo ball that he'd bouce on for hour
and dirty little fat head gordo wouldnt take shower
when halloween cam
he wouldnt be a chum
gettin' all the candy goin' around as a tree stum
(like a midget at a urinal... i'm gonna have to stay on my toes
sometimes my friends would chase gorod with a gu
it'd be fu
because midgets wobble when they ru
they're so close to the groun
and so easy to kic
they're so slow in the hea
and so easy to tric
gordo could do summersault
his special thin
at the fair i would make him enter mud wrestlin
sometimes he wears stilts
and pretend to be tal
so i'd kick him ove
and then i'd laugh at him fal
silly little gordo
just be yoursel
i'd put wood on his hea
and he'd just be a shel
he'd do funny little dance
but thats irreliven
at the beach gordo got attacked by pelican
he had a girlfriend onc
but she was an oge
it didnt last long cuz he couldnt fuck her sobe
gordo had a proble
gordo wet the be
so i'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his hea
he'd have to clean up his own cage himsel
and if he lost a little weight he'd be a keibbler el
he'd really be somthin'
my mangled little munchki
plus his head would be large
than any big pumpki
this perfect little fool would make a perfect foot stoo
sometimes i'd kick him in the head and say "BITCH BE COOL"
i'd have a great lif
i'd be happy i kno
if i only owned a pet midget named gordo
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