Who's Gonna Take Me Home
(The Rise And Fall Of A Budding Gigolo)
(R. Stewart, K. Savigar, J. Davis)Well I arrived on time
My courduroy suit and me bottle of wine
There were women wall to wallIt's Saturday night and I wanted them alleveryoneSidled up for a dance
I tried a new step and fell in the plants
I told a joke, about the Pope
It wasn't as funny as I would've hopedNobody told me she was the daughterof the mayor
I was so embarrassed, I just wished theground would swallow me up
Accidentally my elbow hit the record player
The rock 'n' roll stoppedand everybody just stared
(oh no)Who's gonna take me home
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
Who's gonna take me home
This party's gone right to my headI didn't worry, not me
Panic ain't in my vocabulary
Smashed beyond reproach
Suddenly I wanted to take off my clothesAll hell broke loose
I started to take off my trousers and shoes
And so I tried to look cool
I stepped back and fell in the poolThe hostess helped me outand asked for my dismissal
I said I was sorry, but I've beenunder so much pressurejust lately, babyI felt as popular as a Russian guided missile
The last thing I remember, I left with a girlon a motor bike
That weighed three hundred pounds andwhat's wrong with thatWho's gonna take me home
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
Who's gonna take me home
This party's gone right to my head
to my headI woke up on the floor
Still in my suit and she told me I snored
I never felt so cheap
I had a good laugh at the size of her feetHoly Moses, I don't like this single living
I think I'll find me a nice local girl andsettle on down, now
With a home and a gardenand a nature quite forgiving
Then again maybe I'll just hang aroundWho's gonna take me home
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, right now
Who's gonna take me home
This party's gone right to my headto my head
Now who's gonna take me home
Hey Brian could you give me a lift 'cos I don't livetoo far from you, boy
Mary c'mon I've known you so long please giveme a lift home, oh c'mon
Jim oh c'mon boys would you justgive me a lift home
I don't live too far from here and I'm so tired
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